'I’m a strong-minded person who can control his actions and emotions even though, I’ve seen and done it “all.” I am an Infantryman who’s been to combat three different times for a total of 31 months both in Iraq and Afghanistan. I keep and hide the bad feelings and emotions in because I know it may hurt the person next to me. You may not know what bleeds inside my body, and you may see a waterfall on the outside, but you will never know. Thus, combat plays a huge role in a person’s mind, body, and physical ability.
'You grow to get used to the new “you,” we get used to saying goodbye to the one’s we love, fought next to, and you show no emotion, but you know the mission/life continues. When we return from war, a changed person is seen after days or even years after we’re back. The irritability, the impatience, the constant edge, and the emotional numbness we feel is noticed after time. It’s not the fault of the individual, but how his mind controls the experience, their five senses took part of. They want you to talk about it, but we as veterans don’t want to. Even though it will never leave my mind, permanent pictures that are stored in my brain are replayed throughout my day. Our kids, spouse, family don’t understand the change in their son, husband, father, etc. The marital arguments get worst, angry outburst, short temperateness, and irritability makes things worse.
'My path is only to protect my family, friends, and country and we don’t mean to hurt the people we love, nor scare you, but we ask that you accept this process throughout my life because it will be forever ending. I was told personally that we must prepare ourselves for a crowded mall, streets, or simply how to cope dealing with our family which is from our mind. By practicing the meditation of relaxing our body once the anxiety hits, muscle memory will then kick in by taking a step back and breathing.'
~Martin D.
Mindful Breathing
The soldiers I teach often have problems with post-traumatic stress. I give them a meditation exercise in "mindful" breathing (which is actually mind-less but very conscious breathing!) This soldier describes her experience in quite original language that shows the healing power and grace of mere breathing, when we bring awareness to it....
"I used to practice breathing all the time when I was little just for the fun of it because I thought it was a silly little thing to do. Now, as an anxiety-filled adult, sometimes I forget to breath.
"My mind races too much and I'm so overwhelmed with whatever is going on around me, I forget to take a moment to myself and take a breather.. After doing this breathing, my body is so much looser compared to how tense and rigid I can get when I feel like I'm drowning in my own skin. Being able to take a few minutes to relax and un-focus, and just release everything I had been feeling the past few weeks has put me in a place where I feel like I'm floating...
"Revolving around the depression I have, the breathing was like a hug to my mind and my wild emotions. I was able to put a stop to the horrible things I was thinking about and it was all thanks to just a few minutes of silent and observant breathing."
~Pepper D.
